Tips on Attraction

Single? Date-less? Yearning for the company of that person you’ve had your eyes on for forever and a day? Out of luck and out of ideas? Well, fret no more as Dr. Julian shall enlighten you with tips on attraction.

Firstly, you’ll have to meet certain criteria or it will not work as effectively or at all. So if you satisfy the following criteria, then you should continue reading.

1. Proximity – are you close geographically? Long distance stuff rarely or does not work. It helps if he/she were your neighbor, classmate or colleague.
   
2. Physical attractiveness – let’s face it, you have to be at least decent looking. But before you stop reading, as long as you don’t invoke curious stares or cause nausea, you’re fine.


3. Matching Principle – go for someone that is not totally “out of your league”. If you have average looks, do not try going for someone that is in the league of Jessica Alba or Cristiano Ronaldo. It has been proven that these do not last.

Alright, so you’ve made it to the next stage after meeting the criteria. So let’s see how you can enhance your personal appeal and attractiveness.

Looks and Characteristics (Women)

Men prefer looks that scream out “fertility”. It has been linked all the way back to our ancestors as we want the best offspring. Nowadays, it’s not so much that way. In fact, that’s where the wonders of make up and dressing up come into play.

• Luscious lips – men love them. Put on lipstick that flatters your lips. Make them so irresistible. Make them want to suck them.


• Hypnotic eyes – enhance your eyes. Put your mascara and eye liner to good use such that one look into your eyes and you’ve hooked him, and have sent his heart racing.


• Waist to hip ratio – this usually comes naturally and the ideal ratio is 0.67 to 0.80. Basically, the hips should be about a third larger than the waist. This however is negligible and comes as a bonus.


• Signs of youth – you don’t have to be all uptight and mature the whole time. Show that you have some youth within you while maintaining your maturity. Men love that.


• Dress to impress – what you wear will definitely have an effect on him. Dress too skimpily and he’ll think you’re a slut, and dress too excessively and he’ll think you’re either too eccentric or downright boring. Remember the idea of the skirt – it should reveal enough to arouse, while hiding enough to leave them wanting more.

Looks and Characteristics (Men)

There are many opinions about this but this would be the general feedback I’ve received. It’s hard really to know what women want because they themselves don’t know what they want; hence these would be some tips that work most of the time.

• Maturity – who wants a man who acts like a kid? You want to be with someone not babysitting someone. How embarrassing would it be for you to been seen with him?
  
• Dominance – for all the feminist rants, females like to be dominated. It has been proven time and time again throughout the evolutionary history. Sometimes females like to be told what to do. They want their man to be decisive, taking initiatives and to be in control of the situation.
  
• Height – unfortunately, this comes natural and females have a preference for taller males. So if you’re vertically-challenged, this might be a problem. However, it is not the end of the world just yet. As long as she isn’t taller than you when she wears her favorite heels, you’re still in the running.
  
• V-shaped Torso – Get in shape. Round is not a shape. Just as much as males love a certain waist-hip ratio, females love this particular body shape. So if you’re trying to impress, work out and keep fit.
  
• Masculinity – although females like their men to display a certain amount of sensitivity, they want their men to be what they looked for in the first place. Basically they should act like men. Metrosexuals and effeminate men are too sensitive and the former name is an excuse for males to get away with being homosexual. (If you carry a tote bag and/or spend longer than your female friends in the toilet, stop that gay ass shit.)

Interaction Tips

Apart from those gender specific tips, it is helpful to pay attention to these interaction tips as they may be the difference between a hooking up and booking out.

• Self-disclosure – it is essential that you disclose a bit about yourself in the early stages. It gives this sense of closeness and trust. A little bit of disclosure goes a long way. On the other hand, do not go on telling your life story. No one needs to know everything about you. You’ll come across as a megalomaniac and/or self-centered.
  
• Responsiveness – whatever we do, we tend to seek a response. We have been programmed for that. When our receptors send a signal to the brain, they expect a response. Similarly, on a macro level, we hope to see some form of response from our partners. For example, when your partner leans in, try to do the same. When your date sits closer, you either welcome it or you move in as well. Do not move away. Behavior mimicry is a way to show and/or tell if someone is attracted to you. Just try to notice when you do certain actions such as when you brush your hair, whether the other person does the same. However, do not jump to conclusions. This is merely a guide.
  
• Reciprocal liking – it has been found that we are more attracted to the other person due to the realization that the other person likes you. So if the person likes you, and you like that person, make it known.
  
• Direct Effect of Affect – we all love being praised. Despite our attempts to be humble, we will never be able to suppress the ecstasy of praise and flattery. Positive evaluation of someone is always a good thing however inaccurate or insincere the flattery may be. We all like to feel good about ourselves. It’s a known fact. So be generous with the flattery, but be sure to use it wisely and strategically. Don’t praise the other person too much or it would become meaningless. Strike a good balance and get the timing right.
  
• Associated Effect or Affect – classical conditioning is conditioning in which the conditioned stimulus (as the sound of a bell) is paired with and precedes the unconditioned stimulus (as the sight of food) until the conditioned stimulus alone is sufficient to elicit the response (as salivation in a dog). This parallels the idea of Associated Effect or Affect. Basically, you have to pair an exciting event with yourself to get the other person attracted. Examples range from taking your date to a Comedy night where he/she would enjoy it so much or going on a rollercoaster together. Although the positive emotions were not elicited by you, you being there has an effect as he/she would attribute the emotions to you. Laughter and music has been proven to have a positive effect, so make sure these are put to use.
  
• Mere Exposure Effect and First Impression – it has been proven that the more you see of someone, the more you would have a preference or a liking for the person. So if you want someone to like you, be around them. However, it would really help if you made a good first impression as this will not work if someone had a negative initial response to you. With the technological advancements of recent years, it does not require your physical presence so much, as this could also work by interacting with the person over the internet, phone or any other similar forms.

Pupil Dilation and Alcohol

There is evidence to suggest that pupil dilation is related to arousal. Hence the reason why candlelit dinners and hooking up at clubs work. When a person is aroused, his/her pupils dilate, while his/her pupils contract when bored or unaroused. So candlelit dinners and basically dimly lit surroundings help arousal.

Alcohol helps reduce inhibitions as it restricts certain thought. Therefore, having some alcohol might just help you score. The rest is up to you to do.

I hope these tips will be of some assistance. Do not however, expect them to work alone. You need to put in the effort to make it all work. These are merely tips to enhance your attractiveness, not a guarantee. So be wise and do the right thing. Good luck!